It had to end, one day.

Oh the irony of being happy to see that this can finally end, and yet upon realization that perhaps I won’t be seeing this few great colleagues again makes me not as happy as I should be.

Considering that this was my first venture in the working world, I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I came here clueless and unsure. Being an understudy was terrible considering that I had to probe and probe in order to learn what I had to do, to the extent that I made my own notes. Thank goodness for that, or else I wonder what the next temp staff in line will wonder if he sees the computer and doesn’t know what to do.

Well, work is boring. But it’s the people surrounding you that makes working an experience. Soon I got to know that my colleagues were quite the crazy bunch. In fact, Faz (short formed nick – name) and Jena were the crazy pair, they were forever happy – go – lucky, laughing about. It didn’t take me too long before I got comfortable with my first working experience.

I’ve got to thank so many people: Oscar, Yenna, Jessica, Patricia, Shin Liang (one of the rare few guys in this department LOL), Faz, Jena, Angela, Sandra, Soon Jun (even though she’s not in this department, but I see her running around for the other department practically the whole time) who’ve made my day slightly better and made going to work a positive thing. These three months had been tough, with some emotional things happening, especially with the passing of my grandfather, but I’ve pulled through in the end.

Now is the phase of schooling life that I have to conquer. I don’t even know what to feel about it. I actually feel scared afterall, since it has been 2 years since I have last touched the books. Don’t know how people can be excited about it sigh ._.


2 more days!

2 more days. 

Didn’t know the countdown could be quite fast. After this long period, I’ve never felt so mentally drained, note that I used the word mentally because the most physical draining experience was in army. Well, what happens in army, stays in army. But I know it was during that period that my physical limits were pushed. 

Was being quite the irritating self early in the morning today. Me and some colleague were discussing the various keyboard shortcuts. This colleague of mine was responsible for unlocking the computer and helping me open the various programs needed (much secretive, much password, much wow) daily every morning. 

Then I decided to explore myself, and hit the shortcut to lock the computer. Went to ask him to help me unlock. 

After a while, my hands were exploring again. Not sure if it was due to the fact that it was in the early morning… But looks like my brain didn’t register the lesson learnt. Windows key + L …

Locked again. 😂

Thankfully he wasn’t pissed off, but I told myself no more exploring or else my hands start forgetting and do that thing again. I think by the 3rd time he will flip. 

Side question; is there any default command key to open internet explorer using keyboard? 

What use is there of a gun but to kill?

It has happened more than once. And it has happened again, the Charleston church shooting yet again showing an ignorance of a young man called Dylann Roof, taking others life and justifying his actions with his self beliefs. Although not American, this issue disturbs my senses, and provoke a lot of thought.

Well, I know there are lots of issues arising from this, but my main concern, and to me, the easiest question to ask, after shooting incidents time and time again, would be: “why not ban guns in the first place?”

Guns as self protection. I’ve never heard such a lame reason than ever. It’s not the guns that are going to protect you – even without guns, any fight, killing can happen.

The thing about guns is that they are convenient to use, and are lethal. The fact that it is easily accessible makes it all the more a very complicated affair. And when it is easily available, it gets to the wrong hands, and misuse arises.

Rather, what that should be done, instead of legalizing guns, should be further enforcement of the police force. To ensure that the streets are safe. To ensure no one gets hurt.

Look, I’m not trying to say something like, “oh remove guns, make it illegal, and then we have 0 crimes”. It’s going to be a very long and drawn out affair, this war against criminal activities.  Funny how I see people arguing that banning guns will result in the bad guys getting the guns anyway, and this will only disarm the good guys while letting the bad guys get what they want. The bad guys get what they want? That means that there isn’t an strong enough enforcement of the cop force. Simple as that. And of course, we need more rational thinking people and less lunatics.

What, afterall, is the main purpose of a gun? Yup, to kill. 

Yes, people pull the trigger – but guns are the instrument of death. Gun control is necessary, and delay means more death and horror.

– Eliot Spitzer

You’ve got to relax

I’m suspecting that I have a short attention span. 

Day after day, there are signs pointing to me being rather hyper active. I’m restless in office, looking for things to do. I would be contented being pre-occupied with arranging stuff neatly. That’s more of OCD as well, but oh so terrible. 

Thankfully for occasional writing I can sit down focused and pen down my thoughts. A week more to go and I’ll officially end another phase of my life and embark on a new one. It’s a feeling of relief. Probably will write more about it when I officially end. 

Because there’s nothing like staying at home for real comfort! 

Time flies 

The sky itches and that’s why I tickled it with the feather of a bird. Do you realize it’s been 14 days since two weeks ago? Boy, time flies.

Jarod kintz

Well, not quite the relevant quote as it happened a week ago. But time flies faster than anything. 

No one expected it to be so soon. You were frail, unable to move about, lying down in bed, unable to fully recover ever since that slip in the bathroom. Everyone had expected the worst. But yet it happened too soon. 

I can only say that I have a lot of regrets. But it’s too little too late. I can only look back and ask questions. 

Me and my grandpa don’t really talk. Yet it was this non verbal communication that is etched deep in my mind. And memories will stay. 


dialect as a stumbling block

I apologize.

I apologize for my inadequacy and inability to have a proper conversation with the older generation. My grandparents probably realised that the future generations probably wouldn’t have learnt their language anymore.

It’s a sad situation. I remember whenever I go visiting, and they would stare at me and smile, asking a question, “jiak ba buey” (in hokkien dialect), and I looked back and smiled in response, gesturing to my empty bowl.

The lost of the dialect cuts the connection between us. We couldn’t talk properly. Sometimes I want to help out as well, but I cannot understand what they need assistance in. I tried learning it as well but to no avail.

Sometimes I can only regret not trying to converse with them more often.

I can only sigh and think back if I tried to put in the effort to learn the dialect.

but it’s too little too late