#thought

The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness.
John Muir

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#thought

I’m not a perfect person
There’s many things I wish I didn’t do

I’m sorry. But it’s too late for regrets right now, isn’t it.

Back then, I thought otherwise. Righteous me. Believing in myself. Thinking that whatever I did was justified.

But I was wrong.

The faults, the lies, the blame.

The denial, the arguments, the violence.

Is a sorry ever enough?

I’ve found a reason for me
To change who I used to be

indecisiveness

I probably need a much clearer direction in life.

Right now it is so smokey

that it’s making me dizzy

I walk alone

with the air chilling me to the bones

no one cares

even if I lay my heart bare.

So where’s the exit again?

First week

First week was pure havoc, all the sleep of less than 4 hours or so and going to morning lectures. And the lectures, some are a blur, some a waste of time. Took me a few days to realise which lectures were worth going and those who were not.

So far quite tiring. However, I (surprisingly) rather enjoy the walk to school. I know it can be tiring, and in fact quite frustrating. However, that’s when I’m alone. Ok, I don’t want to sound like I’m an introvert, but I enjoy the occasion where I can re-organise the random thoughts in my head. Something like a re-collection.

But so far it has been not bad I guess. Shall see how second week goes.

Feels like a book in

That familiar car trip down the expressway, the long curvy bends with the dark silhouettes of trees and dimly lit night lights.

2 years, 2 years has passed.

I could still vividly remember the days where through the physical rigours and mental torturous times of the army, how much we longed for the time we could get out and go back to things we once hated to do – studying.

Strange but true; perhaps we didn’t appreciate what was offered to us, perhaps we didn’t understand the long term benefits, or perhaps we were just rebellious teens trying to avoid societal conformity.

But now I know.

So 2 years passed. I’m in my hall room, wondering where all this time has flown to. Was I the same person as I was two years back? I’ve seen many of my friends transformed remarkably over this short duration of two years, in terms of character.

2 years on, time to hit the books. 2 years on, I’m actually dreading the time to hit the books.

But seriously?

Didn’t we want to enter back to our studies, embark on a new journey in university with so much eagerness and anticipation?

Whatever the feels, I can only confirm, that this feels like a book in.

but where is this paradise that we look for? The grass is always greener, the oceans and seas always more blue, and the clouds more fluffy.