that much more

they say, you won’t know what you have until they away what you had.

A tiring day. I wished I could have done better, honestly. Being hard on myself is the only to go to motivate me. I have to do better than 60% seriously. Just have to remember how much elitism that is going on in the family to know that you cannot drop further.

as he was climbing the stairs, the pain, the pain came again. He stopped in his tracks and clutched his knee, grimacing, suffering but he had to go on. what is this pain I’m going through? Why me? I can never know. What else do they want to take away from me, do tell me what else.

I’ll be prepared.

The thing is that it comes out of the blue. I absolutely hate it. I wish I can do things normally but imagine this spurts of pain happen again? I can’t tell anyone, no? That look in the doctor’s eyes, was like as if it was a common thing. Yes, common, but it’s affecting my life so much! I really don’t know how to deal with this anymore.

Was so lost in circuits tutorial as well. Circuits, the module I’m retaking. Yes, retaking. I really don’t know how to do. 2 hours spent in tutorial was like a waste of time.

Really am pretty damn tired. I’m tired of all these. Knee pains, mental stresses. The only thing keeping me alive is loved ones. that’s what keeps me going. Or else I’m just dead.

This post shall remain here. But till then, Ernest got to prove everyone wrong. Ernest has to work harder. Ernest has to absorb pain and know, it happens. Suck it up.

Ernest is tired. He wants to give up. But not yet. not yet.

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weak

so tired of everything in all honesty. Stomach got to be stronger. Got to be stronger.

As I was climbing the stairs today my knee almost gave way. Screw that stupid knee. Random much.